I talk to that human (you?) about that thing I don't do, and I leave that person to go sleep in a box of water (watering?). After sleep, me in a house with no humans in it, after the skyfish moves, I'm gathered.
Gather is an idea, really indicating conjunction more than anything. And you've missed one pronomial (which would still be dangling in the entire translated text.) Should dangling pronomials be marked in the parsed form somehow?
Oooooh! I got this one! Did I actually get it before Rikchik did? I got it from "I told him I'm not doing that...to sleep in the waterbed...." even though that was more or less thoroughly wrong.
Yes, you did. Argh! And it's another one I own of course.
I think I would use Sequence in here to indicate the "this happened, then that happened" nature of the lyric, especially in the "when I awoke" bit. And I'm not sure what the better translation of "bird" would be, but since a "Sky-fish" is specifically a creature that's kind of like a cross between a humpback whale and a hot-air balloon (plus tentacles) it seems a little off.
And this would have been made clearer if Rikchik had tenses, but there's nothing to be done about that.
The use of Before rather than Sequence is exactly the style choice I mentioned. And actually tahnan has 2 on you, having gotten yesterday's last night over AIM. But that's not one you own or even necessarily know. Though might know it.
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cnoocy
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 09:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 09:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 09:31 am (UTC)Okay, seriously
Date: 2004-05-13 09:16 am (UTC)Re: Okay, seriously
Date: 2004-05-13 09:20 am (UTC)Should dangling pronomials be marked in the parsed form somehow?
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 10:18 am (UTC)I think I would use Sequence in here to indicate the "this happened, then that happened" nature of the lyric, especially in the "when I awoke" bit. And I'm not sure what the better translation of "bird" would be, but since a "Sky-fish" is specifically a creature that's kind of like a cross between a humpback whale and a hot-air balloon (plus tentacles) it seems a little off.
And this would have been made clearer if Rikchik had tenses, but there's nothing to be done about that.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-13 10:33 am (UTC)And actually