Rikchik Songs (3 of 7)

[cnoocy]

This one may be easier for tahnan and bookishfellow than for rikchik just because of the source.

Comments

Translation attempt.

[rikchik.livejournal.com]

"Now I can see my friend.

He/she/it artfully says words (poetry? singing?).
Then those words change into gathering emotions before everything, inside a big, still, lonely shield. Then the sun sets."

Let me know if you think I have my pseudo-prepositions backwards.

[tahnan.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see. I also missed the dangling pronomial, and I misread "Shield-P" as "Shield-R" and thought it was about a guard. With those corrected, I have:

"Now I have vision of that friend / The friend artistically says words, and change those words to original Emotion-Group in a big unmoved shieldplace who is sadly ungathered, and go over the sun-person."

Comparing this to Rikchik's translation, I see where I went wrong in a couple of places, though some I don't. What's "Have-V" doing in there if it's just "I see my friend"?

Why...oh, because "before" is a task, which means that the Emotion-Group doesn't precede everything, it is preceded by everything.

Hmmmm...I see my adjective "sadly-ungathered" should actually be "lonely." I think there may be a cultural barrier that kept me from getting that.

But why does the sun rise, as opposed to having something go over it, if "sun" is the patient of "Above-V"? And why is the sun "R"--is this another cultural fact, that they personify the sun?